Love & Hate
by GeniusInDisguise
Summary: Keeping secerets? Telling lies? Breaking rules?(without the infleunce of Ron) Befriending the enemy? Does this sound like the Hermione we know and love? PLZ R/R!!
1. Secrets

After she had finally shaken off Ron and Harry, Hermione slipped quickly and quietly out of the portrait hole. She ran silently down the hall and skipped steps on the marble staircase. She flew through the front doors and sprinted to the Quidditch feild. There, hovering by the goal posts on his fancy broom, was Draco. She smiled at him as he lowered to the ground and ran to greet her. The sun had long since set and the stars were out, shining brightly. Only then, Hermione realised how cold it was. She could see her breath, puffing out of her nose and mouth and fading into the air. Draco stopped and smiled again.  
"Hi, Hermione." He hugged her and they sat down in the grass. If they sat close enough, it wasn't as cold. They talked and laughed until the the sky was a pale shade of grey. Underneath it all, Hermione knew that Draco was smart, kind, and sweet. She wished he'd let everyone else see it. She bid him goodbye and set off toward the castle, before Harry and Ron woke up. But, she was too late. By the time she got into the common room, they were both sitting at a small table over an untouched game of Wizard's Chess. They both glared at her when she came in.  
"Where were you? We came in to see you last night and Parvati told us that you had left at 10:30 last night and haven't been back since!" Ron stood and stalked over to her, closley pursued by Harry. Hermione sighed and desprately tried to think of an excuse.   
"I-I-was-"  
"Well?"  
"I just went for a walk. I didn't realise how long I'd been gone until the sun rose." She smiled meekly and turned away quickly to change into a fresh outfit. When the three of them came down to the Great Hall for breakfast, Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle were waiting for them. Ron rolled his eyes. Harry shook his head and Hermione remained expressionless.  
"Heard about your little sneak out last night. I'm sure McGonnagal will be happy to hear about this." Malfoy smiled maliciously. Ron rolled his eyes again and glared. Crabbe and Goyle snickered. "Who was it? Neville? I'm sure the two of you had loads of fun!" Just then Neville came walking innocently through the doors. Malfoy stuck out his leg, tripping Neville, and laughing. "So did you have fun with Mud-Blood Granger?" Neville just stared from the ground, dumbfounded. Harry stepped forward and helped Neville up.  
"Shove off, Malfoy." Crabbe and Goyle both snickered again. Malfoy smiled sweetly at Hermione then turned to Harry.  
"Suit yourself," He said shrugging one shoulder, he looked straight at Hermione, "I'll see you tonight." And with a wave of his hand, the three of them were gone. Neville instanly bolted to the other end of the hall. Hermione took a seat at the Gryffindor table and rubbed the bridge of her nose. She had a terrible headache and she hadn't gotten any sleep. Harry and Ron sat on either side of her.  
"AND WHAT EXACTLY WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?" Ron's face was twisted with a hearty little mixture of confusion and frustration. Hermione shrugged one shoulder exactly the same way Malfoy had done and picked at her food. Harry and Ron bugged her all morning.  
"Listen, Ron, Harry, I have absolutely NO idea what he meant by that, ok?" And they gave up for the rest of the day. They decided that even if she did know, she wasn't going to tell them today.  
That night, Hermione slipped out again, only this time she met Draco outside of the Slytherin common room. He was sitting, hugging his knees with his back against the door. Without a word, Hermione sat down next to him. Draco put his head on her shoulder and they sat like this in silence for a few minutes, then he took her into the common room. Hermoine had never seen it inside, but she wasn't interested in the room. She sat next to Draco on a big couch. Without looking at him she said:  
"Draco, I-I need to ask you something. Can't you just-just act the same you act around me at night during the day-" Draco grabbed her face and and pulled her into a gentle kiss. He pulled away quickly, roses forming on his cheeks. He wouldn't look at her. Up until now, they had just been good friends. Hermione, had always known that she loved him. She took him by the back of the neck and kissed him again, he leaned over her.   
The next morning, Hermione sighed and kissed Draco on the cheek. She sat up and began to gather her clothes off the floor. He snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her back down.   
"Draco, no, I've got to go. We'll get in trouble, someone will be coming in soon." She handed Draco his pants and he put them on. Just as she was pulling her shirt on, Pansy came running in.  
"EEEEWWWWWWW!! What's going on? Draco? A Gryffindor? THIS Gryffindor?" She stared at Hermione as if she had just impaled her with a butter knife. Malfoy snickered as he yanked his shirt out of Hermione's hand and turned to Pansy.  
"'Course not, Love. She is just so easy. And I really needed some, bad, You know how it is." Pansy smiled at Hermione, obvously trying to cover up the envy brewing up inside her.  
"You heard him, get a move on." Hermione dressed as quckly as possible and slipped out without a goodbye from Draco.  
That day was a Saturday, and Ron had gone to watch the Gryffindor Quidditch practice. So Hermione sat at the small table and began to study. Just then Lavender and Parvati approached her, both trying (and failing horribly) not to giggle. Hermione looked at them, with one eyebrow raised.  
"Yes?" the two fidgiting girls burst into laughter. Hermione rolled her eyes and began to read again. Parvati soon regained herself and smoothed out her robes.  
"Um...Hermione? Neville says he saw you leaving the Slytherin dorms. Were you? I mean what would you be doing there?" Hermione shut her book and stood, facing them.  
"I wouldn't be near the Slytherin dorms if you threatened to kill me! So I suggest you mind your own business, in fact, I'm really offended that you had the nerve to even assume!" And with that she stomped out of the portrait hole. She figured that Quidditch practice should be ending soon and she'd go and meet up with Harry and Ron.   
On her way to the feild, she thought about what happened. Why had she exploded at Parvati and Lavender? They were just asking a simple question. 'I would have done the same.' She thought to herself. She had panicked. If anyone found out, then God only knows what sort of hell that would raise. Hermione never even spoke to Malfoy during the day, but he made a special effort to target her. She had hoped with everything she had to hope with, that that was just an act in the dorms that morning. In fact, he was the very first boy to ever even kiss her, on the lips, anyway. Victor Krum had kissed her on the cheek at least a thousand times. At least she was allowed to be with him.   
"Hermione! Hey." Hermione jumped and turned around. Ron and Harry were standing behined her. Harry's black hair was still wet from his shower and Ron's voise was hoarse from yelling and cheering. The three of them went walking and talking. Ron went on and on about how much he hated Malfoy with a passion and how he would get down on his knees and thank the Lord when he dies. Hermione was nervous. During the time when they talked about Malfoy she hardly said anything. Just nodded her head and said "Yeah...sure" and "huh? Oh, right terrible." when ever they said something to her.  
That night, at dinner, Hermione sat twirling her spaghetti on her fork and letting it drop back onto her plate with a 'splat'. She hadn't eaten a bite. Ron sat and watched her for a moment, then asked her if she was all right. He told her that he was worried. Hermione snapped at him.  
"Since when do you care?" Ron was taken aback, he blinked, confused as if she had just slapped him.  
"I've-I've always cared." Hermione sat back and stared at him. Her mouth was hanging slightly open. She shook her head and told them that she was tired and wanted to retire early. She got up and ran out of the Great Hall. 'That was just a friendly concern, right? I mean, he couldn't want that-no. Good friends worry and care about each other, that's all. And, Ron is a really great FRIEND. Friend.' Hermione's head hurt from all the thoughts rushing through her brain. She was so caught up in thought that she did not realise that she had walked out onto the Quidditch feild. No one was outside. They were all missing the beautiful sunset. But, then again, so was Hermione. She wasn't paying attention. She wanted so bad to tell Ron and Harry the truth. But she was just so scared that they would stop talking to her. She was even more afraid that Draco would be lying to her. What if he didn't love her? Then what?   
"Hermione?" She jumped so much that she tripped and rolled over on her back and looked up at the person talking to her. It was Draco. She smiled and jumped to her feet. "I saw you leave so fast, I was worried. Are you ok?" Hermione hugged Draco around the neck and he hugged her back, kissing her cheek. She pulled away from him, but kept her hands on his sholders. Draco kept his hands on her waist.   
"I don't know about you, but I really think Harry and Ron should know about us. It's hard keeping this a secret."   
"Are you mad?" Draco wasn't being rude, just honest, and Hermione understood that, "They'd slit our throats, especially Weasly!" Hermione hugged him again. She didn't want to admit that Draco was right. There was no chance that they would ever understand. Together they made their way back to the castle. They were to stay in the Gryffindor tower that night. Hermione complained that it would be too risky, but Draco had overheard a few second year Slytherins planning to stay up in the common room that night, so Hermione showed him the way up to the tower.   
When they got there, they were too caught up with each other (and NO not that way, filter your mind!) that they didn't notice a certain red haired boy watching them..................................................... 


	2. Revealed

Ron, crouching behind a squashy, red armchair, stared at them. His bottom jaw practically skimming the ground. He blinked and rubbed his eyes, hoping he was seeing or imagining things. When Hermione pulled out of Draco's kiss she spotted something moving. She scanned the room with sharp eyes. Nothing. No one. She sighed nervously and lay her head on Draco's sholder who gently patted her head and explored the common room whith his eyes. He was quite impressed. He liked this room better than the Slythern commom room by far. He smiled at Hermione who didn't seem to notice because she was eyeing a dark corner of the room suspicously for movement of any kind. Ron covered his mouth to try and stop the choking and gagging quickly rising from his stomach. But he couldn't hide it. Out came four loud coughs and several wheeses and gaggs between them. Hermione instanly perked up. She stood and slowly began to search the room. Draco cringed at the thought of being caught in the wrong dorms -- especially by a teacher.  
Finally swallowing his fear, and gathering enough pride, stood and showed himself. He stared at Hermione with a hurt look as if to say 'Why? Why, Hermione? How could you do this to me?' And yet the words 'I knew it' seemed to linger in his brilliant blue eyes. Draco stood, a sholder behined Hermione. With a steadfast glare fixed on Ron, he took her hand. Hermione chocked just as Ron did and finally mannaged to sputter out"  
"R-R-Ron I...You..I-I-" Ron grunted and folded his arms. His expression instantly flashed from hurt to hate. He shook his head at them.  
"Honestly you two are pathetic. Absolutly PATHETIC! I suggest you get yourself out and back you your dorms before a certain cat spots you." Ron's usually happy and energetic voice was soar and spiteful. His eyes were burning as he spoke. "GET OUT!" Draco squeesed Hermione's hand once (which they dicided was a silent way to say 'I love you') and slipped out, without a word. After watching him go, Hermione turned back to Ron.  
"Ron, please listen I can expla-"  
"NO! You listen! I trusted you. Don't you realise what you're doing to me. You're supposed to be my friend. Friends DON'T kiss their enimies. You know, you know what his family does to mine! What HE does to us! That's right, his father has made a mockery of mine. He's made a mockery of me. Doesn't any of that matter to you?" Hermione hated to admit it, but all this had crossed her mind, but what he said next hadn't. Infact, he hadn't even told Harry this. "You know why I hate him so much? Well guess what? Last summer, my mother had her second daughter. Elizabeth May Weasly. My new baby sister. Around the same time, my father had gotten his revenge and embarassed Lucius horribly at the Ministry. He wanted revenge, aswell. So he thought up a fool-proof plan, I whatched him kill Elizabeth. Draco helped him. Only I saw and we have no proof. The have anti-truth spells on them so taking this to the Ministry would be useless. Draco is a murderer, he killed Elizabeth May!" Ron's face was wet with tears and the fire in his eyes had long since gone out. Hermione stared at him, absoultly mortified. But before she could respond, he had run up the stairs and slammed the door to his dorms. Hermione knew better then to follow him, but no matter how many tried to remind herself that Ron would never lie about something like that, she didn't want to believe him. She wanted Draco to me good, kind and especially gentle to innocent babies.   
She cried all night and well into the morning. She didn't go down for breakfast, but went down later for her first class: Double Potions with Slytherin. Ron wasn't there. Harry instantly approached Hermione with a half preplexed half worried sick expression slaped across his pale face.   
"Er, Hermione? Do you know what's wrong with Ron?" His green eyes met hers with the most piercing stare that she had ever seen. She had to look away, but for some unknown reason, couldn't. "He was crying all last night and this morning. He wouldn't say anything except three names: The Malfoys, yours and Elizabeth May. Who's that?" Hemione finally broke their eye contact and sighed.  
"I-er-I don't know. I hope he's ok? Is he in the dorms?" Harry shook his head and explained to her that Dumbledor found him practically drowing in the second floor bathroom sink this morning. He's up in his office right now.   
All through Potions, Harry ignoring the death looks from Snape, whispered in Hermione's ear how he was going to visit Ron after school and asked her if she wanted to come. She shook her head violently. He told her he was really worried and he also wanted to find out who this 'Elizebeth May' was. Hermione just sat and stared dumbfounded af Malfoy. Who wouldn't look at her. It looked as if the was afraid to look at her.  
Harry was Ron's REAL friend. He never betrayed him, never lied to him. Never made him so upset and hurt. But why hadn't Ron or any other of the Wealsys said anything about Elizabeth? After potions, Hermione instanly sought out the twins int e corridor. She finally noticed, neither laughing, playing jokes, or even talking. She thought back to that summer when she stayed a few weeks at the Burrow. She was so cought up in preparing for school, that only now, almose five months later, how unusually sad and downtrodden they looked.   
For weeks Hermione didn't talk to anyone - especially Harry and Ron. Ron must have told Harry about Malfoy because he ignored her and gave her dirty looks. She stopped seeing Malfoy at night, and he stopped being rude to her in the halls. He didn't look at her, didn't do anything since that night. When dinner came, Hermione wasn't there. She sat up in the doorms with the curtain drawn around her four-poster. No tears came. She knew now that crying wouldn't help one bit. Crookshanks purred and currled up on her lap.   
"Oh, kitty! What am I going to do? I have to get them all back, but how? Maybe I should have gotten some girl friends and I'd be able to understand them. I just wish there was some way I could get to Ron, make him listen," She sighed and stroked the big bushy fur sprouthing off the cat's back. Crookshanks meowed and strectched. Just then, Hermione got an idea. She pulled out an a small muggle notebook. Most of the pages had been torn out and since the cover zipped shut, Hermione could fit a few things inside it. She took out her quil and ink and began to scribble furously on th remaining lined paper.................................................................................................................. 


	3. Goodbyes

Dear Ron,  
the winter here's cold, and bitter  
it's chilled us to the bone  
we haven't seen the sun for weeks  
to long too far from home  
I feel just like I'm sinking  
and I claw for solid ground  
I'm pulled down by the undertow  
I never thought I could feel so low  
oh darkness I feel like letting go  
  
if all of the strength and all of the courage  
come and lift me from this place  
I know I could love you much better than this  
full of grace  
full of grace  
my love  
  
so it's better this way, I said  
having seen this place before  
where everything we said and did  
hurts us all the more  
its just that we stayed, too long  
in the same old sickly skin  
I'm pulled down by the undertow  
I never thought I could feel so low  
oh darkness I feel like letting go  
  
if all of the strength  
and all of the courage  
come and lift me from this place  
I know I could love you much better than this  
full of grace  
full of grace  
my love  
  
GOODBIE...  
  
Hermione put down her quil. Tears falling form her eyes. She pulled out one another sheet of paper and wrote:  
  
Dear Draco,  
When I think back on these times  
And the dreams we left behind  
I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed  
To get to have you in my life   
  
When I think back on these days  
I'll look and see your face  
You were right there for me  
  
In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky  
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life  
I'll keep a part of you with me  
And everywhere I am there you'll be  
And everywhere I am there you'll be  
  
Well, you showed me how it feels  
To have the sky within my reach  
And I always will remember all the strength you gave to me  
Your love made me make it through  
Oh, I owe so much to you  
You were right there for me  
  
In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky  
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life  
I'll keep a part of you with me  
And everywhere I am there you'll be  
  
Cause I always saw in you my life, my strength  
And I want to thank you now for all the ways  
You were right there for me  
You were right there for me  
Always  
  
In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky  
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life  
I'll keep a part of you with me  
And everywhere I am there you'll be  
And everywhere I am there you'll be  
  
There you'll be   
  
  
And one last letter said:  
  
Dear Harry,   
Of all the things I've believed in  
I just want to get it over with  
Tears form behind my eyes  
But I do not cry  
Counting the days that pass me by   
  
Goodbye to you...  
Goodbye to everything that I knew...  
  
I've been searching deep down in my soul  
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old  
It feels like I'm starting all over again  
The last few years were just pretend  
And I said,  
  
Goodbye to you...  
Goodbye to everything that I knew...   
  
I still get lost in out laughs  
And it seems that I can't live a day without you  
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away  
To a place where I am blinded by the light  
But it's not right  
  
Goodbye to you...  
Goodbye to everything that I knew...   
  
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time  
I want what's yours and I want what's mine  
I want you  
But I'm not giving in this time   
  
Goodbye to you...  
Goodbye to everything that I knew...  
  
  
She put all three in separate envolopes with each name written neatly on the fronts. Hermione packed her bags pulled on her cloak and paused one last time...having second thoughts. But at last, she took Harry's broomstick that he had left in the Common room and dissapeared out the window and into the night. 


End file.
